  
"You were very
pleasant and easy
to work with
-- a meeting
planner's dream."
Toni Pugmire
Idaho Hospital
Association
|  | Resources and Articles Clients & Colleagues Share 2011 New Year's Resolutions “I want to better adapt to changes, roll stunningly with the punches, take each step carefully, and live each day to the fullest saying "thank you, I'm sorry, and I love you" ...all the way!” --Carola Erb, San Diego CA
“Be in the moment: When working, work. In free time, don't work.” -Carol Senese, San Diego CA
"Committed to creating BLOCKBUSTER YEAR financially...six-figure income!" -Bernadette Vadurro, Santa Fe NM
“Simplify, Focus, Express. By Simplifying my life, I am Focused on what matters most, thereby supporting me to do what I do best: Express. -Sheryl Roush, San Diego CA
“Make January 2011 my busiest month.” -John C. Drew, Ph.D. Laguna Niguel, CA
“My intention is to be vigilantly lucid…totally present in the moment, letting go of worry about past or fear about the future.” -Deborah Deras, Venice CA
“To do the best at whatever it is I am currently doing.” – Mimi Gaffey, Oceanside CA
"Read and learn more to improve my working relationships." - Claudia Moreno, Redlands CA
“Spend more time with my family and my friends.” – Carmenza David, San Diego CA
“Getting my list of birthdays and anniversaries organized and sending everyone a hand-written and timely (for once!) greeting on their special day this year.” -Amy Abrams, San Diego CA
“Continue on my successful weight loss journey and invoice my clients as soon as I finish the work.” –Jan Carpenter Tucker, San Diego
“I will strive to be more accommodating and serene this year.”
-Ana Luzunares-Vega, Orange County CA
“I'd like to work on living my life this year, instead of letting my life live me.” -Paula Kreger, San Diego CA
“Taking on more charitable work and trying to be an example of God's love for His children.” – Katie Freeman, San Diego CA
“To make people laugh. It really does make everyone happier, which in turn results in higher productivity.” –Marcy Maslov, Phoenix AZ
“To let others know that I appreciate them and the things they do.” – Mary Kimbell-Smith, Elk Grove, CA
“To increase productivity/balance my personal and business through better time management and efficiency.” – Kevin Viner, San Diego CA
"Be more aware of my tone, listen more and show interest." –Patsy Cisneros, Glendale CA
“Stay in touch with special people. Organize Stuff. Less Stuff.” -Nanci McGraw, Wildomar CA
“Be as prompt in answering my voice mail as I am in replying to email.” –Mimi Murray, San Diego CA
“Be healthier , happier, wiser and love more.” -Darnice Fox, North Las Vegas, Nevada
“Become closer with God by reading my Bible more and being more Godly in all that I do.” – Kathleen Freeman, Phoenix AZ
“My commitment in 2011 and beyond is to "life changes"; to embrace a more balanced and healthier way of life.” –Brenda Jones, San Diego CA
“To lose 20 pounds and keep it off.” – Sandra Johnson Simon, Oakland CA
“Finish my book - Have more fun - Get finances in order - Find love!” --Donna Satchell, Atlanta GA
“Remember to always count my blessings, both little and large.” – David Payne, El Cajon CA
“Ask God to guide & support me (us—as educators) in my (our) work of educating young people.”--Rosie Campos, M.Ed., L. P. C., Brownsville TX
“To do a better job of staying in touch with friends spread out across the country.”
--Matt Hicks, Corpus Christi TX
“I did not make any new year’s resolutions but I made a declaration. I have decided/declared to live my best life which means taking care of myself physically, spiritually emotionally and mentally; being the best person I can be to my family, friends, clients and my community.” –Robbie Calderon-Hass, Oceanside CA
“I plan to achieve my health and business goals with a monthly tracker, action plan and results list.” –Maureen Mason-Cover, San Diego CA
“My New Years Resolution is to repeat ‘Rita, you do not have to do everything’ and then just do what I really want to do.” – Rita Sweeting, San Diego CA
“Be more loving, understanding and spend more time with my loved ones, including friends, as life is too short.” –Edwina Gobasco, San Diego CA
“I resolve to be better than I was last year. Will focus on the ‘ugly 7’ (ugly because I never seem to be able to stick with any of them): 1)Enjoy life more 2) Get Healthy 3)Get organized 4)Save money 5)Spend more time with family and friends 6) Go back to school 7)Volunteer to help others”–Ruth Sinclair, San Diego CA “My new year’s resolution is to focus on health, specifically financial, spiritual, nutritional and physical health.” --Melanie Mitchell, WA
“I am going to stop over-planning! I am going to move in the direction of my dreams and goals with open eyes and an open heart (free from an agenda on how I think it should look) so I am sure to experience every opportunity available to me.” –Heather Criswell, Pacifica CA
“I asked myself: If 2011 were my last year to live, how would I spend this precious time? I determined that I would spend my year truly engaged in spiritual practice and pair it with meaningful pilgrimages around the world helping others. My intent is to weave as much of this newfound resolution into my life as possible to make it my best year ever!” --Julia Jackson, San Diego CA “To perform at my maximum in all key areas of my life, and to build my self confidence by mastery of my work!!” –Devin Gerardy, San Diego CA
"Take much better care of my health and go in for regular check-ups!"
–Brenda Collins, Oceanside CA “Create a new, edifying, fulfilling, loving layer to my marriage.” –Mindi Landry, Oceanside CA
“Go to church on Sundays unless I have a real reason not to; follow doctors orders/suggestions; work on my social life.” --Sandra Adams, GA
“I purposefully intend to reach for optimal health. I will cleanse my mind, my body, and my home - one minute, one day, one month at a time….” --Kathleen Maybin – West Berlin, New Jersey
“I want to help nourish all of my dreams into reality. Fear will not be a factor for me in 2011.” – Sjoukie Cooper-Holt, Atlanta GA “My resolution is to have more FUN! And making sure I am around people who are FUN! --Susan Clarke, San Diego CA
“My New Years's Resolution is to heavily impact the way women of color view and do business with each other by joining their hearts and minds.” --B. Renee' Williams, San Diego CA
“My GOAL is to practice what I teach in my book Time to Invest in Yourself.” –Dr. M. Tina Dupree, Miami/Ft. Lauderdale FL
"Talk more. Email less." -Diann Scarborough, Houston TX
"Listen more and talk less." -Stephanie Wong, San Diego
"Play more." -Lisa K. Coleman, Tucson AZ
"Work. Play. Love." -Susan Guzzetta, San Diego CA
"Simplify." -Rachelle Pilkington, Bakersfield CA
"To be as good a man as my dog thinks I am." -Dan Collins,
San Diego CA
"Spend less, read more, limit coffee to one cup, be nicer, be grateful for what I DO have." -Gail Brown, Oceanside CA
"Gratitude." -Anne Donahoo, The Woodlands, TX
"Create a gratitude list. Then read my gratitude list every morning to help start my day with positive thoughts." -Rossana Fernandez, Orange CA
"Kicking and screaming, I'm letting go of my slowly-dying, though customized-to-my-every-need computer and loading up a new computer with all the challenges, delights, and frustrations of Windows 7 and the new Office Suite."
-Milo Shapiro, San Diego CA
"I want to enjoy my passion working as incentive groups tour manager as well as Amsterdam & Warsaw Guide.
-Monika Doroszkiewicz, Amsterdam, Netherlands/Warsaw, Poland
"Take time for reflection during mini-vacation alone each year."
-Dee Sanford, San Diego CA
"Enhance fitness and authentic friendships."
-Dave Pamah, London, England
"Being a mother of 3 and wife, my New Years resolution is to take a few hours a week for me." --Chelby Cummings, Topeka KS
"I'm going to dedicate a minimum of 30 minutes each day to my social media accounts, with the goal of getting more referrals from my online networks." -Adrienne Moch, San Diego, CA
"My New Year's resolution focuses on my personal spiritual growth. If I had not had so many prayers and the support of so many over these last few months, I would probably not be here today." -John Shirley, Richardson TX
"Making a New Year's promise to myself and not a resolution. I am signing up for the Rock and Roll half marathon in Las Vegas in December and have started training. I have almost a year to train and I promise I will do it." -Regina Lemaniwicz, Vista CA
"My New Year's Resolution is to not have any resolutions that I can't keep. I decided this year that I just need to work on one thing at a time that I want to improve instead of several all at once - so first one is reading my Bible every day." -Murielle Barnes,
Amarillo, TX
"To be a more positive outgoing person spiritually and socially." -Oliver Davis, Columbus GA
"Strive to be a better person." - Chris Stanley, Ft. Lauderdale FL
"I will: Laugh more! Be more 'in the moment'! Be more thankful!" -Lily Marapao, La Jolla CA
Excerpt from Chapter 1 of Sarita's Book
If You Can't Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?
I’ve observed that sometimes the energy we expend being in fear of confrontation is worse than the confrontation itself. Things don’t always work out perfectly, but sometimes getting that “knot” out of the pit of our stomach by handling a situation is the true reward. I heard somewhere that confrontation is the price we have to pay for peace of mind. I hope you find helpful the excerpt below from my book “If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?” Read on…
F.E.A.R. - Find out what's keeping you from confronting
Confronting an individual about bothersome behavior or sharing concerns comes with some risks.
What if you hurt the other person's feelings?
Or even worse, what if the person is offended or becomes defensive?
It could get ugly! No wonder most people avoid these situations.
However, if fear is stopping you from handling situations that need to be handled, you must first figure out what exactly it is that scares you.
Then, do a "reality check" and see if indeed that fear is valid. Or is it "false evidence"?
"False Evidence Appearing Real" is what experts say the acronym F.E.A.R. means. However, I think that for many people the acronym really stands for: "Forget Everything And Run!"
Which of the following keep you from handling challenging situations? And, how likely is that feared outcome?
(Check all that apply.)
__ Hurting person's feelings
__ Retaliation
__ Getting an angry or defensive reaction
__ Getting angry or upset yourself
__ Saying something you will regret
__ Making matters worse
__ Destroying the relationship
__ Saying something that will make you look stupid
__ Jeopardizing your job
__ Being seen as negative
Once again, ask yourself: How likely is the feared outcome? Often, you will never really know the outcome until you actually address the situation.
One of my colleagues, Rob, a sales rep, had been seething for weeks after having received a commission check that was $500 less than what he expected. Although he felt extremely angry and cheated, he cringed at the thought of approaching his boss about the discrepancy. Rob convinced himself that there must be some sort of logical explanation.
If Rob had used the fear checklist above, he probably would have checked “fear of destroying the relationship” and “fear of being seen as negative.” Even though weeks passed and he continued to stew in his anger, he still did not confront the situation. His fear checklist at that point might have included “fear of saying something you will regret” and “fear of getting angry or upset yourself”.
By the time I ran into Rob at a business luncheon, he was so furious about the situation he could spit! I suggested that he give his boss the benefit of the doubt and check out the reason for the commission discrepancy. Perhaps, say something like “I noticed that the amount on my check was $500 less than what I was expecting and I’m wondering if you’d be willing to double check the paperwork?” He called two days later to share that he had used that approach, the boss had checked it out and discovered that there had indeed been a computer error. A $500 check payable to Rob was being processed as we spoke.
Rob took the risk and it paid off – literally! Most of the time, when you confront situations there is some risk involved. According to Difficult Conversations, the 1999 book based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, “No matter how good you get, difficult conversations will always challenge you. Achieving perfect results without risk will not happen. Getting better results in the face of tolerable odds might.”
How to Stay Positive and Focused in Uncertain Times
Stress and negativity have reached an all-time high as a result of the recent economic downturns and pervasive uncertainty. Large-scale layoffs, plunging real estate prices and eroding retirement accounts are sources of angst for many people.
In spite of all, I think we can still have the audacity to remain hopeful during the upcoming months. Here are four of my favorite strategies to help you stay positive and focused in uncertain times.
1. Focus on what you have the power to control...and plan your panic
-You can't control the national economy, but you can control your own spending choices and how much time you spend worrying about the impact of the economic downturn. Margaret Wehrenberg, psychologist and author of 10 Best Ever Anxiety Management Techniques suggests "planned panic." In other words, schedule a time to worry, brainstorm options, tweak your budget, check your 401K balance on-line, meet with your financial planner, etc...and then get on with your day.
-You can't control the threat of downsizing in the company you work for, but you can control your positive career-enhancing steps such as staying connected to others in your industry, taking professional development workshops/courses and above all, demonstrating competency in your current position
- You can't control negative people or situations around you but you can control how you choose to react to them. That reminds me of a speaker I recently heard who said that when asked "What do you think about the economic downturn?" he replied "I'm choosing not to participate." Some might say he's in denial, but what he meant was that he wasn't going to focus his energies on it!
2. Use Resiliency Resources
You might not be able to escape from negativity, but you can choose to engage in positive activities to offset it. Here's a strategy that I share in my seminars that may help:
A) Identify 5 activities in which you enjoy participating. I refer to these as "resiliency resources." (Aerobics classes at the YMCA and going out salsa dancing would be on the top of my list!)
B) How many of those 5 activities have you participated in during the past two weeks? The more, the better. Unfortunately, when we're focusing on uncertainty and negativity, we forego the fun, which is really when we need it the most!
3. Ask for Help
All the government bailouts being requested are an extreme example of this strategy. However, on a smaller scale this can mean everything from re-negotiating loans and asking your boss to restructure your work schedule to collaborating with colleagues to make better use of resources. Here are some of my favorite phrases for seeking support, especially when the other person is a peer, or in a more powerful position:
-Would you be willing to…?
-What do you think about…?
-Would it be possible to…?
-Would you consider…?
-How would you feel about…?
In my book If You Can't Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? (Available on Amazon.com), I offer a variety of ways to effectively communicate your requests, including 105 Phrases for All Occasions in the Appendix.
4. Maintain a Sense of Humor
As my mother used to say, “sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.” That certainly reminds me that when times are tough and situations are tense, it helps to inject a bit of levity.
One of the best examples of this is the flight attendants on Southwest Airlines, which is known for making flying fun. That’s certainly no easy feat these days with the security screening “obstacle course,” jam-packed flights and reduced in-flight amenities.
Here are a few excerpts of my favorite uses of humor shared by Southwest Airlines flight attendants, much to the amusement of the passengers: “Ladies and Gentleman, there are 50 ways to leave your lover but only 6 ways to leave this plane.”
“Please note that there will be no smoking on the plane. However, we do have a smoking section located on the wing, where the in-flight movie is ‘Gone with the Wind.’ ”
“Attention Passengers, as you’re trying to make the tough decision of which seat to choose, please keep in mind that all seats arrive at our destination at the same time.”
“Let me remind you that this is a non-whining, non-complaining and non-smoking flight.”
So, if you focus on what you have the power to control, use “resiliency resources,” ask for help and maintain a sense of humor, there is hope. And, you’ll be one step closer to staying positive and focused…in spite of the uncertain times!
Sarita's 50 Phrases for All Occasions
|
